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When Jake Drake gets mugged twice in ten minutes, he comes up with a plan to con the criminals on his estate.

With the help of his closet pals, he starts a rumour about a new gangster in town - the Big Baresi, the biggest gangster that never was. The con works, but not for long, as events start snow-balling out of control. Soon Jake and his gang are in trouble. Big trouble. Facing total meltdown, and stuck with a freezer full of diamonds every bad guy wants a scoop of.

An outrageously funny, runaway adventure – a story of danger, diamonds and disorganised crime from an award-winning Glaswegian scriptwriter.

Nothing quite compares with the excruciating pain of being kicked in the goolies by a Caterpillar boot.

Jake rolled on to his side as the pain exploded from between his legs into the pit of his stomach. His hands clasped instinctively around his privates but very, very lightly, as the thought of even thin air touching them made the pain worsen.

As he rolled on the ground in the cold concrete stairwell, gasping for a breath, he could hear the unmistakeable cackle of Demi and Desiree Dubble.

He hadn’t seen them coming, which was surprising considering the size of them.

            ‘Ooh, is poor little Jakey Drakey having some trouble?’ mocked Demi in her thick Glaswegian accent. It was her quite enormous leg that had dealt Jake the breath-stealing blow.

Jake couldn’t answer; the pain had grappled up his neck and now held his tonsils in a headlock, allowing only the slightest high pitched whimper to exit his mouth. The truth was he knew he wasn’t just in trouble, he was in Dubble trouble.